Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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