i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
