I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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