can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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