I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
