If i come over, it means nothing
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
