I just pynch a tree in the face
I am in a vortex of obligation.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
