where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
