The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
