If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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