Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just cut my nipple shaving
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
