Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
