I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
