I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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