so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
vagina is talking i cant
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
