The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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