Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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