sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
