At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
