"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
