soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
