Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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