yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
