He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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