he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
