the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
