he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
