You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just want to make out with him forever
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
