Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
