new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
