Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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