Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
