OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
