I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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