i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
