did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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