i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize