New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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