Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
