Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
