pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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