Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
