He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
