Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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