Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So. Much. Porn.
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