Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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