just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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