She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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