He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize