I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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