He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Who died my cat blue again?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
