At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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