READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
