That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize