I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
