i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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