so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
