he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
