I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
