You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
