no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
