WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I need help removing her.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize