Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
