we're blogging at a bar
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
