You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
