She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
