it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
